If you listen closely, you can hear the green lights sobbing very, very softly. We’ve heard this as we attempt to traverse many intersections. So, we set out to interview a green light and we found one willing to talk…at 45th and Marshall Avenue.
WDRIVE: That sobbing; how long and why? Especially from such a stately perch you have!
It’s Green: Not that long, really. But, you’re right; my crying is real. It emanates from all the way down my pole. It started 4 years ago.
WDRIVE: Better be careful. Crying can redden your eyes. Then people might mistake you for a Red!
It’s Green: Aaaaach! I’m afraid of hearing such a thing. Shall I also be confused as, apparently, is my Red counterpart? This is my problem. I am to mean “Green means ‘go’, if it is clear by the way. Yet, lately many out there are saying, by their driving, that Red means what I mean!
WDRIVE: Well, if they are saying that “Red means Green” then what are they saying that you mean?
It’s Green: “Useless.” “Insignificant.” “To be pitied.” I no longer possess the wonderful distinction I have held. I gave people happiness. Timely happiness. Something they all looked forward to. I was welcome; by everyone! How many can say that; that they are welcomed by everyone? But my meaning has been tarnished. My identity pirated. I am the most wretched of the world’s lights.
WDRIVE: Have you talked with Yellow about this? I’m sure Yellow has seen this disrespect given to you.
It’s Green: Yellow is distraught and confused. Yellow claims something is playing the three of us like the 3-cup shuffle with a green pea under one and, after the shuffle, you have to figure which of the three has the green under it.
WDRIVE: Perhaps, then, Red has been conversing with you?
It’s Green: Red is completely hoarse. Shouting all the time! Can’t hear a word from Red’s mouth one iota. But here is the larger problem; no matter the color, we are all very, very scary now in the eyes of the wise and wonderful drivers. If they see “Green” does the others’ Red mean they will stop? Will the Yellow cause the intersecting driver to caution-up…like a real driver?
WDRIVE: And you cannot run from your problems, can you? Many regard you as one of the greatest of inventions. I think that has been universally proclaimed.
It’s Green: There should be a universal outburst for my identity to be given back to me. I know that they say everyone suffers some form of injustice at some time in their lives. Unfortunately, my injustice has consequences that reach to every driver, even to those who disobey red lights. But I shall persist and proclaim my true identity. I will not abandon my post and I impart this lasting advice to you. Hover over the brake as you approach intersections where you see Green. Look left-right-left as you approach and be ready to activate that brake right away.
